Burn The Ashes
by Misfit Hatter
Summary: Destiel slash. H/C. Magic blades, unstable witches and Sam getting hit in the face with a pillow! What's not to love? Team Free Will struggle to save a cursed Dean and a very old demon with a grudge to settle is back in action. Season 7 and mild Season 8 spoilers.
1. Chapter 1: Burn The Ashes

**Chapter One: Burn The Ashes**

"Cas, isn't there anything you can do?!" Cried Sam, hands shaking, lips set in a hard but faltering line as he stared upwards.

"No. Whatever's been done to him, I can't...there's nothing I can do."

Their gazes immediately snapped downwards at the strangled moan that escaped Dean's throat. He was lying on his side tensing and convulsing on the damp concrete of the indoor parking lot floor.

"There's gotta be something, anything." Said Sam, eyes burning.

"I'm afraid all I can do is lessen the pain. I'm sorry." Breathed Cas as he bent to lay a hand gently on Dean's clammy brow. Dean gasped in pain, eyes and jaw clenched tightly shut, causing Sam to cast a nervous glance over at Castiel. After a drawn out couple of minutes, Dean raised his head from the floor looking at the concerned faces hovering over him, squinting in the bright, artificial light, arms still crossed over himself tightly.

"Yeah," said Dean groaning. "you call that lessening?" Cas looked down at him almost apologetically. "Hey, any time you guys wanna help me up and get us outta here, that would be great." Said Dean after a pause. Sam leaned over and locked his arm under and around Dean's lifting him carefully, steadying him as he swayed on his feet and helped him out to the Impala.

* * *

Sam half carried Dean over to his bed, which was still unmade, and went to fetch a cloth and water from the motel bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed he wiped the cold sweat off his brothers face. Cas just stood near the small table by the door, immobile as ever and watched Sam, deep in thought.

"Quit treating me like a bitch Sammy," Said Dean, swatting weakly at Sam's hand and tried to sit up. "I'll be fine. I just need a cold beer and..." Dean gasped again and gripped his side falling back onto the mattress. "SonofaBITCH!"

"Yeah Dean, you're fine." Gibed Sam, using what Dean could only describe as his, air quote, bitch face. "Dean, you're anything but fine, you just got sliced open by a demon!"

"The wound's closed, there was no blood. What's the problem?"

"What's the prob...Dean, you don't think that a gaping hole in your side that miraculously heals it's self right off the bat is a problem? Look at you man, you can't even sit up." Sam sighed tiredly. "This is like La Grange all over again, you can't always just bounce back."

Dean rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air.

"Ok, ok geez, let's just figure out what the hell just happened, all right."

"There must have been some heavy mojo on that blade." Said Sam deciding to drop the subject for the time being seeing as Dean was a stubborn bastard at the best of times and he clearly wasn't up to an argument.

"You don't say. Cas, what was that thing?"

Cas, who had been typically still and quiet during the brothers' exchange shifted his stance, facing at a right angle to them, hands on hips and flicked a sidelong look at Dean.

"That . . . was the Tardus Mors."

"The Tardis what? Are you saying I got slashed by Doctor Who's most wanted?" Exclaimed Dean, eyebrows raised.

"What...I don't. No. TardUs Mors." Replied Cas, restlessly, emphasizing the u. "It's Latin. It translates as..." He trailed off, apparently unable to finish.

"Translates as what?" Quizzed Sam, brows furrowed, worry evident in the way his voice raised in pitch. Trademark Sam.

Cas just stared back before lowering his eyes to the ground.

"Slow death."

* * *

The next few days went by with the Winchesters researching, calling in favours and generally worrying. Cas had disappeared without another word after delivering the great news, much to Sam and Dean's annoyance.

It didn't sit too well with the older brother that they hadn't heard a peep from the angel given the predicament he was in. He'd always been kind of comforted by having a knowledgeable, bad ass celestial being as back up, and now he was back in line for the hellfire at the end of the tunnel, the SOB was gone.

"Hey, I think I found something, check this out." Said Sam picking up the laptop and bringing it over to the bed. "Tadus Mors, ancient knife constructed under the orders of the demon Asmodeus. It is said that it brings about great pain and suffering to allies of The Host of Heaven. This is believed to be because of his anger towards the Archangel Raphael for banishing him to the desert for his sins against humanity. Although this blade wields great power, only those deemed to be truly pure can employ it's devastating magic, to ensure a slow, torturous death upon thine enemies.' It is also universally thought of as having no cure for those afflicted."

"Awesome. 'Slow and torturous' and 'no cure' well that just makes my day. I'm guessing pure means, old and really powerful, huh? Well, I guess we know why Cas took off so quick, this _Asmodeus _guy seems to have a serious grudge against our friendly neighbourhood angels."

"Yeah." Said Sam, acutely aware that Dean was deliberately not paying more attention to the far more important piece of information. "Why take it out on us though, I mean I know we have Castiel but Raphael had nothing but hate for us and Cas killed him, it's not like they were having picnics together in the park."

"Seems like he just had a bag on for anything feathery. Oh and anyone lucky enough to make friends with said feathery thing. Yay us." Scoffed Dean sarcastically, wincing.

"So, question is what now. As far as I can remember we haven't pissed of any demons that powerful. Well ones that are still up and kicking anyway."

"Really? Sam we've pissed of practically every demon out there, directly or indirectly. There countless evil douche bags out there that would jump on the chance to tear us a new one." There was a pregnant pause as things sank in. "So, I guess this means _more_ research?" Huffed Dean rolling his eyes. "Let's go find ourselves the biggest, baddest dicks out there and go hunt 'em down. 'Cause that can only go well."

Sam's only reply was a slight inclination of his head and loud exhalation. For all Dean's bravado, Sam was really beginning to worry about his brother. It had been just under a week and Dean wasn't looking at all healthy judging by the pallor of his constantly sweat ridden skin. His movements were shaky at best and he couldn't walk for any real distance without help which, of course, he hated and would swear blind that he was fine and that if anyone touched him again he'd start throwing punches.

No change there then.

* * *

It had been a week now since Cas had first took off and Dean was getting antsy.

"Cas you dick, get your ass down here!" A second later and a rather ruffled looking angel was standing at the end of Deans bed glaring at him, jaw tight.

"What?"

"What? What do you mean _what?_ We've been calling you for days, you just left, not a damn word. Where've you been?"

"Searching."

"Oh well, that's okay then. Why the radio silence Cas, for all we knew you were dead." Said Dean, not really attempting to keep the anger from his voice.

"I intended to be back much sooner but I became aware of someone watching me. It seems they followed us from the parking lot I wanted to lead him away, make sure I'd completely covered our tracks." Cas walked to the bed next to Dean's and sat down stiffly, hands clasped in his lap. "Sorry for the inconvenience." He added snarkily.

Dean stared at Cas, eyes wide.

"Alright, no need to get pissy. Should of just killed him, saved us all the trouble." Said Dean shifting his gaze lazily around the room.

"That wouldn't have helped if he was reporting back to someone."

There was a long silence in which Dean looked down grinding his jaw, knowing Cas was right.

Cas just, sat.

Sam cleared his throat. "So, you find whatever you were looking for?" He said, shifting forward in his seat at the table.

"Yes. A witch in Minnesota, she's fairly well known for her cleansing and reversal spells. I'm hoping she might know something useful."

"No cure has ever been recorded, surely if cleansing spells worked it would be written somewhere?" Sam said biting his lip.

"This witch is very powerful. Besides, the blade that did this hasn't been used enough to gather sufficient data considering how old the demon using it must be to do real damage."

"So you're saying this might actually be worth a shot?" Dean said, fixing his eyes on Cas's.

"Yes. But this must be handled delicately, she is not the most stable of people."

"When are witches ever 'stable?'" Snorted Dean.

Cas slid his stare from Dean to focus on Sam. "Which is why I could use your help, you have a way with people."

"Uh, well, whatever you need." Sam said eyes flitting between the angel and his brother.

Cas untangled his hands and pushed himself up striding towards Sam who got up and shot a glance over to Dean. "Wish me luck." He said. Cas raised his hand.

Dean blinked and they were gone.

* * *

It felt like years since Sam and Cas had left.

Dean had eaten, watched sucky afternoon TV and done all he could to try and keep himself entertained, to no avail. He couldn't help but feel he was wasting his last days, he should be out trying to cram in some last moments of shallow frivolity, not lying in a damp smelling motel room.

Dean heaved himself up and hobbled over to get Sam's laptop from the table deciding to do some more research. He typed and scrolled and clicked for hours, finding nothing more than the same scraps of information he'd read a hundred times over, the same grotesque images searing themselves into his retinas and he felt way to gross and crappy to even consider Busty Asian Beauties.

He finally gave up, rubbing his eyes , and put the computer on the bed stand beside him and lay down, staring at the ceiling until his phone rang.

"Hey, what's taking so long?"

"Ha. Cas wasn't kidding with the whole unstable thing. It took a decade just to convince her to let me in and once I told her about Asmodeus she freaked."

"So, it's a bust then." Said Dean, slouching down further into the mattress.

"No. After we calmed her down she said there might be one thing we can try. She's sorting some stuff out and explaining it to Cas now, just thought I'd check in, figured you'd be climbing the walls by now."

"Almost. You guys just take your sweet time."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be back soon. Try and relax, 'kay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm so chilled an ice cube would feel the chill."

"Right, bye Dean."

"Bye."

Another half hour later Sam and Cas were back, fussing around a small pile of herbs and oils and bits of paper with scribbled instructions on.

"So, what is all that?" Asked Dean, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Just some of your basic cleansing stuff like Agrimony and African Violet and some more, exotic, things." Replied Sam casting a quick glance over his shoulder at Dean,

"Exotic? Exotic how?" Dean asked trying to get a better look.

"You really don't wanna know. Ashes for one." Said Sam, lips curling slightly.

"Great."

Dean painstakingly slid onto the floor after refusing aid and shuffled round to the end of the bed to sit leaning against it as Sam arranged everything on the carpet in front of him.

It was just getting dark outside as the curtains were drawn and Sam and Cas seated themselves opposite Dean to create a small triangle.

"How's this work then?"

Sam caught Cas's eye then they quickly averted their gazes to the floor.

"You're not gonna like it." Said Sam.

"Oh come on, I'm not a girl. I think I can handle some pain or doing something disgusting. Wouldn't be the first time."

"That's not why. Let's just cross that bridge when we come to it."

"No Sam, what aren't you telling me?" Dean was sitting stock still, head pushed forwards slightly, frowning. A long moment went by in which Sam and Dean locked eyes in a silent battle, neither one wanting to back down.

"The spell cites that someone must give their own life force to replenish what you've lost..." Cas started.

"What? No, you can forget it, no one's dying for me!" Dean cut in.

"Let me finish. This is a spell meant for humans but we discussed it with the witch and she's confident that an angel will work just as well."

"That didn't just apply to Sam, you're not turning out the lights for me either Cas." Dean's face was reddening, temples pulsing.

"I don't plan to. An angel's energy is much more powerful than a human's, it won't kill me."

"Then why not tell me from the start?"

"Because, it will drain me, at least temporarily. I'll be powerless."

"Cas..." Dean voice was low and taut.

"I'll be fine Dean, at least we will all be alive. I will just need time to recover. And if anything tries to kill me during that time, I trust you both kill it first." Cas said eyes crinkling just a little in a smile.

Dean paused, thinking and looked between his brother and Cas.

"Okay then, if you're sure about this."

"I am."

Dean pulled in a breath, filling his lungs and blew it out in a harsh sigh, carding his hand through his hair.

"Let's get this show on the road."

Dean watched as Sam mixed ingredients and burnt the ashes and herbs, and Cas muttered something in a language Dean had never heard, which he was mildly surprised by, and then they simultaneously turned to face Dean.

"Pass me your arm." Sam said pulling a small knife from it's sheath.

"More knives, awesome." Dean remarked.

Sam made a small nick on Dean's arm, making him wince. He looked over to see Cas doing the same thing to himself.

"Blood fusion, I love these things." Dean grumbled

"When I tell you, join the cuts. Oh and hold tight." Sam lit a match and started chanting under his breath. Dean pulled his sleeve up a little more, away from the blood and peeked up at Cas who was already looking at him intently.

"Don't let go, whatever happens Dean." Dean nodded to Sam. "Alright, NOW."

Dean leaned forward and grabbed Cas's arm just below the elbow. Cas copied the movement and Dean could feel the moment the angel's blood combined with his own, felt it spread up his arm and throughout his body. It was an odd sensation. A warm prickling, almost like pins and needles rolling up his veins. Strange shapes were flashing over the image of the motel room making Dean's head spin. He felt nauseous and the slight tingle was now starting to burn white hot as was his vision, filling with white light. Except the light was real, flowing and ebbing from Cas and swirling around Dean in bright ribbons. There was a high, continuous screeching sound. The smell of the charred concoction filling his nostrils. It was too much, sensory overload, he wanted it to stop, to pull away.

No he had to keep going, no point stopping now.

He felt himself being pulled forward and looked to see Cas slumping back towards the floor, face contorted in agony.

Dean moved to pull away, only to hear Cas's mumbled "No." and feel Sam's gigantic hands grip his arm, holding it in place.

"Sam, no. Look at him." Dean could barley speak, wave after wave of searing heat wrapping itself around him. His ears were ringing, he was sweating, his eyes stung.

"Please Sammy, it hurts. Please. Make it stop." Dean didn't care he sounded like a teenage girl in a crappy horror flick, he was sure he was going to pass out any minute. He just hoped that he threw up _before _that happened, he didn't want to go out choking on his own vomit.

"Cas."

"Just a little longer Dean, it's gonna be okay."

Everything was white now. He couldn't see anything. He felt as though he was actually on fire.

This was it, he thought.

The end.

Blackness.


	2. Chapter 2: Condensation

**Chapter Two: Condensation**

Dean woke up back on his bed, drenched in sweat.

He thought he faintly remembered screaming. He hadn't screamed had he?

"Sam?" Dean throat was dry and hoarse.

"Yeah, I'm right here. How you feeling?" Sam was up and by Dean's side in 3 strides.

"Like crap, how's Cas?"

"He's, well, he's alive." Said Sam posture sagging as he eyed the other bed.

"Who screamed?"

Sam looked down at his brother and then back to the bed.

"I shouldn't have let him do it, you shouldn't have stopped me letting go."

"Dean, it was his choice, if you'd have let go when you did it would have been for nothing. You had to finish it."

Dean sat up cautiously, testing out his side. There was still a dull throb and his head was still swirling from the spell but he felt good. Better than before anyway.

"Well, I'll say it worked," he said getting to his feet and stretching carefully. "Look, I can walk and everything." Dean went to the fridge and grabbed a beer before going to stand by Cas's bed.

He was passed out and just as sweat covered as Dean. It appeared Sam had removed his trench coat and suit jacket, leaving him in a now semi see through white shirt. Dean pulled a swig from his bottle as he studied the unconscious Cas. He looked worse than Dean had before.

"Damn it." Cursed Dean, shaking his head.

"He'll be fine Dean. We'll be here to help him out while he's on the mend. Don't worry so much."

Dean just continued checking over Cas.

He'd screamed.

He never wanted to hear that sound again as long as he lived. Not from the angel who'd been exploded for messing with Lucifer and Michael, the angel who'd taken on Sam's insanity to make up for his wrongs, who'd gone solo in Purgatory just to keep Dean safe. The angel who had rebelled for them...For him.

Fuck.

"So what's next, sit and wait 'till he wakes up?"

"I guess so. It's not like we have any leads on the dick who caused all this." Sam responded.

* * *

It was 2 days before Cas awoke.

Sam was out on a food run and Dean was sitting on the dimpled couch watching a re-run of Dr Sexy when he heard movement behind him. He turned to see Cas half sitting up, head resting on the bed post.

"Hey man, how you doing?"

Castiel's groggy eyes honed in on Dean and just stared for a moment as he considered his answer.

"I'm warm." He said fidgeting under the sheets and shoving them off.

Dean couldn't help but laugh a little, but he immediately shut up after glimpsing Cas's face.

"Sorry, it's just, of all the things you have to complain about your bitching at the heat." Said Dean grinning sheepishly.

"I'm used to pain, in a sense, but heat is...new. I don't like it." Cas pulled at his shirt sleeves, rolling them up just above his elbows.

Dean went to the sink and rank a cool glass of water. "You thirsty?" He asked handing it Castiel.

"Yes..." Cas replied, tilting his head and reaching out a shaking hand which he looked at dispassionately.

"Not used to any of this are you?" Dean noted sitting on the edge of the bed. "You've been out for two days, you think you'll be up and about any time soon?"

"Two days, " Cas pondered "I expected worse...I should be steady on my feet by tomorrow." He said, wiggling his feet experimentally "As for my powers, I can't be sure."

"Well, baby steps 'ey? Lets just take this day by day." Dean stopped and scrutinized his hands as Cas gulped down the water.

"Cas, I just wanted to say, and I mean this, thank you." He peered at Cas, his olive eyes locking with the ice blue of Castiel's. They didn't speak for a what seemed like an eternity.

Dean cleared his throat and moved his gaze to study the wallpaper.

"You're welcome Dean. It's worth the discomfort to save a life. Your life."

"Yeah well, like I said, thanks." Answered Dean twitching in his seat.

"You would have done the same for me." Added Cas, putting his hand on Deans.

Dean flinched but didn't take his hand away.

Sam chose that moment to walk in, luckily for Dean he was paying more attention to getting his key out of the stiff lock.

Dean snatched his hand away and got up as casually as he could manage.

"Look who's awake Sam, it's sleeping beauty." Dean teased.

"Hey. You're looking better." Said Sam closing the door.

"He's hot." Answered Dean getting a smirk from Sam.

Dean felt his face getting flushed and he had to resist the urge to clear his throat again. "I mean, he can feel temperature and he's complaining, ha." Dean scratched his forehead. "Oh, he should be walking by tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's a start. You need anything Cas just ask okay."

"Yes. Thank you."

"You're not the one who should be saying thanks but you're welcome." Said Sam.

The next day, or night rather Cas was indeed walking again. When Sam went to the store again for a can of lighter fluid, Cas insisted on going with him, happy to have the full use of his legs again. Anyone would think he'd been in a wheelchair for a year the way he was acting.

The weeks went by and Cas was steadily improving. He was practically back to normal, only thing missing was his healing skills.

Dean, however, stayed the same. Side still giving him the odd twinge, though he couldn't complain. It was a hell of a lot better than it had been at first.

"So what are we eating tonight, Sammy? No rabbit food."

"Well maybe if you got off your lazy ass..."

Sam was cut off mid sentence by a well aimed pillow to the face.

"Recovering invalid here, remember?"

"You were fine when you wanted to go for a drive before and I wouldn't let you."

"Yeah well, that was then. It's an on and off kinda thing." Said Dean, feigning a cough.

"Why are you coughing? You got stabbed." Sam laughed.

"I don't know, it's magic Sam. Who knows what could've happened to me." Dean looked over at Sam with a smirk. Sam just shook his head with a grin which quickly tuned into a concerned frown as Dean fell to the floor. Unmoving.

Sam hurtled to his brother, who was slowly regaining consciousness. "Hey, are you alright. What the hell happened?"

Dean rolled over and got to his knees looking at Sam. "I dunno." He said, reaching to his side. "This can't be good. Damn, that hurt like a bitch."

"Here." Cas said rising from his seat on a wooden stool and handing him his trusty bottle of painkillers and some water.

"Urgh, thanks." Dean swallowed the pills and clambered to his feet. He headed to his bed, lay down and promptly passed out.

Sam stood in wonderment and looked at Cas. "This _definitely _can't be good."

* * *

The next morning Dean woke up in agony. Sharp pangs with a dull throbbing aftershock was an uncomfortable combination and he was aching all over, joints seized.

He was, surprise, surprise, covered in sweat again.

Dean turned his head to see Sam hunched over the table laptop in front of him, screen blank. He must have fallen asleep dredging the net.

He moved slightly to take the pressure of his side and let out a gasp, waking Sam.

"Dean?!"

"Argh. Hey Sammy." Said Dean trying to smile coolly.

"Don't 'hey Sammy' me. What the hell happened?"

"I got no clue. All I know is I feel like shit again." He looked up at Sam. "It didn't work did it?"

Dean's pained voice made Sam cold.

"No." Said Cas when, once again Sam couldn't bring himself to answer.

"But I felt better, I was good. Mostly. What was that about?" Dean knew he wasn't as composed as he'd of liked but he need some fucking answers.

"It seems we only managed to put the curse on hold. We've concluded that if I hadn't been me, but a human who preformed the ritual, it wouldn't have helped at all but the extra energy abated your symptoms, for a short time."

Dean drooped and wilted back into to bed. "I'm sorry Cas, to have put you through that for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing, you weren't in pain, for a short while."

"Yeah, and it almost killed you so I could feel better!"

Castiel's lips tightened as he looked away with a huff.

"Well I'm sorry but I sucked in all your energy and I'm still gonna die, I'm sorry it was a wasted effort, to have hurt you like that."

"Well I don't regret doing it." Cas said jaw set.

"Look Dean, we got time we'll figure something out. We always do." Sam said asserted.

"Agreed. We've been up against these odds before and made it through." Said Cas firmly.

Sam and Dean looked at him for a moment before Dean shifted again letting out another hiss of pain. "Okay then."

Cas nodded and vanished.

"Really! Again. C'mon Cas some info might be handy, or heck a goodbye." Dean shouted looking up at the ceiling. "Anti-social freak." Dean smiled to himself slightly despite his exasperation.

"I'm going to head out get some books that used to be in the Campbell library, there's still a few things we've not looked through yet. We might get lucky." Sam declared shoving his keys in his jacket pocket.

"Because we get all the luck."

"Dean..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll see you later."

* * *

Dean had a lot of of time on his hands and for all his best efforts his mind went back to that day Cas had woken up.

To the way he'd just stared at him for eons.

He'd held Dean's hand.

Why did he do it?

It was probably just and angel thing, Dean told himself. It's not like the dude was exactly well informed when it came to human socialisation. He was always in someone's personal space. Admittedly, it was usually his.

But what was troubling Dean more was that he hadn't pulled away. Also, his mind had jumped straight to the conclusion that it was somehow a romantic gesture on Cas's part and not just an inappropriate 'everything's going to be fine' reassurance. Dean could have just accepted it was just him trying to bolster Dean's spirits, moved his hand and jokingly said 'Hey, I don't swing that way.' But no.

On top of that was his reaction to Sam's little smirk at his wording of Cas being able to feel the temperature. Dean knew Sam had just been joking, teasing him the same way Dean had done countless times and would have done to Sam if it was him who'd accidentally said Cas was hot, but instead of just brushing it off he'd blushed. Actually _blushed. _

Dean shoved everything to the back of his mind and decided to concentrate on attempting to get up.

The pain had subsided just enough that he could stagger to the fridge and back although it left him shaking heavily with the strain of it.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed watching droplets of condensation lazily race each other down the side of his beer, wondering what was taking so long when he heard the familiar rustle of feathers.

"Well...?" Said Dean, not looking up from the sporting event on his bottle. There was a significant pause in which Dean, if he didn't know better, felt as though Cas was struggling to phrase what he wanted to say.

"I've searched everywhere I can think of, I..." Dean cut him off, still avoiding looking at the being stood just to his left, so close the hem of his trench coat was lightly brushing his knee.

"It's ok Cas, I know."

"No Dean, it's not 'ok.' You _are _going to die, permanently and painfully. Don't you understand?" Replied Cas with his usual tact.

"Of course I understand," Dean blurted jaw clicking. "but what am I supposed to do, huh? There's nothing I can do. I'm used to being on the chopping block it's nothing new as much as that might surprise you. No point freakin' out or whining about it." The bottle was becoming more interesting by the second.

"So that's it then, you're just giving up? After everything. I held you in a much higher regard than that, I see I was mistaken." Dean jumped up, rounding on the angel clutching at his side as he did so, and finally looked him in the eye, cursing at the ever present zinging throb. He was even closer than he'd thought.

"Oh, well I'm sorry Cas. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, that I'm not the big hero you thought I was. But you know what. Screw you!" Spat Dean, grimacing as another sharp stab lanced through his gut. "You wanted to hedge your bets on me, that was _your _choice Goddamit. Sorry to fail you again." Said Dean, in lowering his voice in vehemence. "But I can't do it anymore Cas, I'm done." His voice breaking on the last word, eyes stinging.

"Fail me? Dean that's not what I meant and you know it." Castiel growled lowering his head but keeping his ice blue eyes on Dean. "I...I just..."

"What?! Spit it out." They were so close now Dean could the feel other man's breath ghosting over his pallid skin when Cas replied.

"I'm not sure how to put it into words." He said, confusion and...anxiety? Evident on his usually stoic face, eyes darting across Dean's questioning expression. All traces of anger erased from his voice. Dean, his own temper starting to dissipate, studied the angel fervently.

His heart still racing, though he couldn't fathom why.

Cas interrupted his musing by shifting closer still. What the hell was going on, he thought, starting to get more than a little frustrated with the events unfolding before him. Dean didn't like not knowing, especially when whatever it was involved being in such close proximity to another dude. He was in the process of stepping back when a hand dropped lightly on his shoulder, heat sinking through the thin material of his shirt. Dean looked up, eyebrow arched in a silent question.

"Don't give up." Said Cas quietly, eyes unblinking.

Was that affection?

Dean just stared back at him, brow crinkling.

"It's just that I..." He sighed, dropping his hand back to his side and inched backwards. Now Dean was really puzzled. Since when did Cas, the porn watching, bad joke telling, personal space invading angel feel _awkward?_

"Sam wouldn't want you to give up." He said, turning slightly to look at a patch of carpet just beyond his elbow, a defeated slouch in his stance.

"C'mon Cas, don't give me that Sam crap, what is it? Just tell me and quit acting like a blushing school girl."

Dean froze.

He realised right then he knew exactly what Cas was struggling to say. His own words revealing what his subconscious had known for God knows how long. How long had he known and just pushed the thought away? He swallowed and ran a hand absently over his face. Never mind how long he'd known, why was he now pushing so hard for Cas to spill the beans? It's not like he had any kind of reply for the guy and things would be beyond uncomfortable. Right at that moment Dean would've been quite happy to forget the whole thing and live on (for however long he had left) in ignorant bliss. But he couldn't just leave it now he knew and he was so sick of running away form unpleasant situations, he'd done it his whole life and now it was time to face something head on. Besides, he was curious, always had been, in all aspects of life. He put it down to being a hunter, and what better time to be curious then your last days on earth.

"Urghh, to hell with it!" Dean said causing Cas's head to snap up in bewilderment. (Hey, if he was dying soon he was going all out. Why not? At least he could truthfully say he'd tried everything. Plus if he was going out, he was going out with a bang, and this was a pretty big 'bang' for Dean, he thought to himself.)

He stepped towards a confused Castiel, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder. When the angel didn't flinch away he moved his other hand gingerly to the side of Cas's face, all the while watching his reactions intently. Which involved nothing more than the usual unwavering eye contact.

Unreadable.

And yet the eye contact Dean usually found unnerving felt different this time, strangely comfortable. When it became clear that he wasn't going to get pushed away, or get any reciprocation, Dean slowly closed the distance between their bodies, pressing them together. He was flooded with an ethereal warmth which was somehow suppressing his growing trepidation. Was he really doing this? Was he really doing this with a dude, no scratch that, with _Cas? _He lowered his hand from the angel's shoulder trailing it down the beige sleeve to grasp his hand, following the movement with his eyes, and brought it to rest on his own hip, delicately squeezing to close the hand around him. His gaze rose and was met by a sea of blue that felt as though it was weaving its way though his soul.

Getting the gist, Cas flattened his free hand on the hunter's chest and ran it deftly up to his cheek to mirror Dean, brushing his collarbone in the process, making Dean's breath hitch. Heart racing faster still after that, the lightest of touches. From a guy! He had a moment of sheer panic before the blue was filling his vision once more. Eyes hot. Dean broke. He moved in, close enough for their noses to touch, gently swaying his head in small increments side to side before brushing his lips over Castiel's and then went on to peck once, twice. Experimenting, finally locking lips on the third go in a deep, smouldering kiss that had him tingling in more places than one, nerve endings on fire.

Cas was unexpectedly efficient, if a little haphazard, at rendering Dean gulping for air. He reached up to run his fingers through the dark, ruffled locks, drawing out a decidedly guttural moan and deep shiver from him that had Dean was positively floating as he relished in the thought of how new this all was for Cas, hell, it was new to him too in one major aspect. But the thought that he was getting to be the one to make Cas to feel real pleasure for the first time had him happier than it should have.

He broke away to look at the dishevelled angel whose pupils were blown wider than saucers.

"Does that resolve your little speech impediment?" Quipped Dean, panting and smirking slightly.

"I...Believe so, yes." Replied Cas, a small quirk on his lips and doing a little panting of his own.

An intense spasm of pain had Dean on his knees in a second, curling over and falling to his side writhing. Cas swooped down attempting to hold Dean steady as he rolled onto his back, slamming his head into the ground and letting out a wail unlike anything Castiel had ever heard.

On a hunch Cas reached over to pull Dean's top up. The jagged indentation on Dean's side was now pulsing a dull blue, spidery veins branching out and disappearing with each murky flash.

"Dean?" Another groan. "DEAN?"

Sam came to kneel at his brother's side, panic etched on his features. Cas had been so absorbed in what was happening he hadn't noticed the shaggy haired Winchester enter.

"What's happening Cas?"

"I don't know. But I can safely that it's say only going to get worse until..."

"Until he dies." Said Sam flatly fixing a hard, watery gaze on Cas.

Dean started to slowly relax under Cas's hold and looked up dimly.

"Friggin' curses." Whispered Dean and passed out.

"Damn it. Give me a hand?" Castiel cocked his head looking at Sam quizzically.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Help me get him to the bed."

"Of course." They each took a side and heaved Dean over to his bed where they left him sprawled out on the sheets and stood looking at each other, trying silently to figure things out.


	3. Chapter 3: Foolish

**Chapter 3: Foolish **

It was 3 days before Dean roused himself yet again.

Painkillers had no noticeable effect anymore.

Cas was back at full charge and helping out all he could though it was still hard for Dean to walk anywhere and Castiel's mojo only lasted several short hours.

The boys (Sam) drove from motel to motel following dead end leads and torturing a long line of demons coming up with nothing but the same information they already had.

Sam looked exhausted as he sat looking goggle eyed at the screen of his computer and Dean said as much.

"I look a lot better than you do." Sam remarked.

"Well the way I look isn't a choice Sam. Please, get some rest I'm begging you, okay. Besides what good will it be if you do find something and then get killed because you're too stubborn to get a few hours shut eye."

Sam stared back at his brother and finally gave in, shutting his laptop down and practically collapsing onto his bed.

He was asleep in less than a minute.

* * *

The days rolled on this way for a while. Cas popped in and out relaying any tidbits of information he gleaned, which was next to nothing.

Then came Sunday.

Sam was at his usual station at the table, reading though some old note book. Dean was lying on his bed, more books scattered on his bed and side table.

Cas appeared with the complimentary gust of wind that accompanied him.

"I think I have something. I'll be in touch."

With that he was gone leaving a sufficiently confused Sam and an extremely vexed Dean to stare astounded at the empty spot where the angel had just been standing.

"I swear, if I ever get my strength back, the first thing I'm going to do is whack him over the head with a frying pan." Said Dean, slamming down the journal of some long lost Campbell.

"We don't own a frying pan." Sam retorted.

"Then the first thing I'll do is go buy one. The second thing will be hitting him with it."

"Vanishing and leaving us clueless aside, he said he might have something. This is good news Dean."

"I'll believe it when I've got confirmation from Mr. Whiplash, thanks."

Sam sighed. "Well, guess we'll just have to wait and see won't we. Think positive."

"Think positive." Dean muttered shaking his head. "I'm hungry, we got anything to eat?" He inquired.

"No. I was about to head out to the store anyway I'll pick something up." Said Sam getting to his feet.

* * *

Dean, bored of lying in bed stood and shuffled to the table bent double, and sat in the hard chair deep in thought.

To say he was confused would be a major understatement.

The whole thing with Cas was troubling him. What had started out as an impulsive experiment had quickly transformed into something more and Dean wasn't too sure how to feel about it.

On one hand he was panicking. Firstly, what was Sam going to say? It would surly be hard to swallow after all these years, and there'd be teasing he was sure. But he could take that, if Sam was teasing it meant that he was okay with it. Or maybe he'd just completely freak and be weirded out by the whole thing.

Secondly, Cas was a dude, and not just any dude, he was a freakin' socially inept _angel _dude. Dean liked women, all breasts and smooth skin and curves. Not flat chests and stubble.

On the other hand he couldn't deny that being close to Cas felt good, really good. Maybe it was his 'angelic presence' for lack of a better term. Or maybe it was the thrill of knowing just how powerful he was, that he could smite him in an instant and yet Dean could grab him by his tie and all too easily have his way with him. Power high or what? Geez this was fucked up.

Whatever _it _was, Dean was having a hard time processing, and if he was, how was Cas handling it? Probably one extreme or the other he supposed. Completely calm and would see no need in Dean's pointless and incessant agonising or he was in a worse state than he was, which wasn't all too hard to imagine considering Cas's trouble with comprehending human emotions and the fact that he'd never had any physical contact of that sort.

This wasn't complicated at all, and oh yeah, not to forget the whole dying thing.

Sam interrupted is musings just then, plastic bags in hand.

"Dude, what do you think you're doing?" Sam couldn't have looked more like a scolding mother if he'd pursed his lips, put one hand on his hip and shook his finger.

"What? You got anything edible in there?" Dean said nodding towards to bag.

"You're supposed to be resting Dean."

"Oh, 'cause sitting in a chair is so strenuous."

"You know what I mean, you should be in bed, not wondering about." Said Sam, depositing the shopping on the counter.

"Gimme a break Sam it's like 6 steps from the bed, take a freakin' chill pill. You didn't answer me."

Sam reached in the bag and threw a bag of crisps on the table inciting a childish grin from Dean.

* * *

It had been days since Cas up and left the brothers high and dry and Dean was really getting pissed.

As if some divine force had read his mind, there was small breeze as the air around them was displaced and Cas lay on the musky motel carpet, breathing heavily and bleeding.

"The hell..?" Dean painstakingly dragged himself into seated position, leaning limply on the headboard of his bed.

Sam jumped up and dodged his way around a chair stooping to help Cas up and practically dragged his languid form to the aforementioned chair.

"Cas, what happened. Where've you been?" Asked Sam getting Cas into a more centralised position when he nearly fell sideways.

"Geesh Sam, let him catch his breath."

Sam looked at his brother incredulously clenching his jaw and tilting his head. Dean gave him a hard glare in return.

"Alright, alright," Sam stood and walked to the sink grabbing a cloth and handed it to Cas who lifted it to his face and wiped away most of the blood, continuing on to his hands.

He finished and just sat immobile, staring down at the bloodied material in his hands.

Sam glanced over to Dean and raised his eyebrows. Dean swept his hand out in a 'go ahead' gesture. The word 'whatever' clearly written on in his expression.

"Cas?"

Cas looked up, seemingly recovering quickly as he shifted in his seat. His hair was mussed and clothes more rumpled than usual. It reminded Dean of the time he and Sam had gone looking for Cas and instead found a crumpled Jimmy laying on pile of debris, disoriented and irate.

Simpler times he thought with a bitter smirk.

"I had a lead on a demon close to Asmodeus so I went to, as you would say, check it out." It always amused Dean when Cas tried to be colloquial, the way the words came out slowly, as if a comma was inbetween each word. It sounded like he should be air quoting.

"And.." Said Dean anxiously.

"And...I found his base of operations." He responded, a small triumph to his gravely voice.

"You. What? How? Where?" Said Sam his own voice notching up a few octaves as he stumbled over his words.

"Rosemont, Dakota. He has an entire hotel for his own personal use. Golden Brooke."

"Ha, Golden Brooke, what kind of pansy ass name is that?"

"Well, who'd think to look for a demon hideout in big fancy hotel. It's smart." Said Sam, sitting on the edge of his bed, shaking his head in silent laughter. "All this time..."

"So how'd you do it man?" Asked Dean curiously.

"I." Cas paused, searching for the right word. "Infiltrated their midst."

"You what?" Laughed Dean. "What, you mojoed yourself some black eyes and just strolled in the front door?"

"Not exactly." Cas replied peering down and the cloth again, unable to look Dean in the face.

"Cas?" Sam peered briefly over his shoulder brows tightly knitted.

"Cas, what did you do?" Said Dean firmly with a hint of uneasiness when he didn't respond. "CAS. Answer the god damn question!"

Cas looked up reproachfully and fixed Dean with an almost apologetic glare, mouth set in a tight line.

Dean took in the condition of Castiel's attire, the blood and rips. Dirty and covered in all sorts of grisly crap, the already fading cuts and bruises. He looked like someone had chucked him in a mud and blood filled blender. Which probably wasn't much of a stretch. He thought back to him crash landing on the floor unable to stand without Sam's interference. Dean bristled, comprehension hitting him about as softly as rock to the back of his head.

"Tell me you didn't."

Silence.

"Err, someone mind filling me in?" Said Sam, switching his eyes back and forth.

"Go on Cas. No? Okay then. Feather brains here got caught and tortured, on purpose, to try and get the jump on Ass-modeus! Do you have any idea how idiotic that was?!"

"I had to do something. We were getting nowhere and you are deteriorating..."

"Oh don't give me that crap! You should know better. What if you hadn't got out? We had no clue where you were, what you were up to!" Dean tried to stand, lost in the heat of the moment and winced as a hot spike of pain shot through him. "Fuck."

"Heyheyhey, take it easy." Sam urged.

"I'm not going to apologise for trying to save you." Cas barked.

"Trying to save me, don't you think you've done enough of that already? I've had enough people die because of me. Dad, Bobby, Jo." Dean croaked horsely.

"It's wasn't your fault Dean, none of it. You didn't kill them."

"Yeah, well I might as well have! Then you go do this, I can't. You could have died in there Cas. If you'd been killed, what would I have done..." Dean turned away, hiding a solitary tear running down his cheek.

Cas had known Dean would react badly to his news but this. This was raw emotion and it confused him. Not least because he could feel Dean's pain although he couldn't quite understand it.

"Well I didn't. I'm still here." Dean focused on Cas dejectedly. "It worked didn't it?"

"That's not the point Cas." Dean pointed out half heartedly.

Sam, who had been sitting awkwardly between the two of them during the whole exchange decided he needed some air, and maybe his brother needed some alone time, it's how Dean handled bad news.

"I'm gonna go get some supplies, we're low on bandages."

"Right." Dean replied uninterested.

"Need anything?"

"No."

"'Kay." Sam cleared his throat and stepped past Cas to grab his jacket, shrugging it on and walking towards the door. "You good to go?" He asked Cas, nodding his head to the exit, coaxing.

"I, err.." He began to stand when Dean interjected.

"He's fine where he is."

"Yeah, I just thought..." Sam started.

"Si'down Cas." Said Dean pointedly, eyes on Sam.

Sam paused, hand on the knob, watching as Cas looked confusedly between them then sat back down on the wooden chair and gave him a slight nod.

* * *

They sat quietly for about 20 minutes once Sam had left until Dean finally broke the silence.

"Why'd you do it Cas?"

"We've been through this."

"Yeah, yeah I know. But who goes straight to voluntary torture, we still had a couple theories."

"Foolish theories." Said Cas, matter of factly.

"Can't argue with that." Dean grinned.

Cas half smiled back. "I couldn't let you die Dean, especially not when this was never your fight to begin with."

"Hey, half the fights I've ever had were nothing to do with me." Joked Dean.

"I'm serious Dean," Said Cas, shooting him a disapproving look. "I couldn't live with myself if you had died and I could have done something to prevent it." Said Cas, a searching gaze lingering on Dean's green eyes.

"Wow Cas, you're deep guy." Dean mocked, smiling.

Cas just blinked back, irritated. He should be used to Dean's avoidance of anything he deemed uncomfortable but it still vexed him to a degree. People were quick to point out Cas's flaws when it came to emotion but he thought Dean to be pretty much on a par with him sometimes.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I get it, believe me I get it. But you have to understand, the reason you did what you did. It's the same reason I'm pissed at you for doing it, you see? If you had died in there trying to help me, how would you have felt if it were the other way round?"

Cas thought about it for a moment and suddenly understood why Dean had 'flew off the handle' at first, and why he'd felt Dean's pain. It was because it was a mirror of his own pain at the prospect of living for eternity without Dean.

He got up and made his way over to sit on the edge of Dean's bed, thigh resting against Dean's.

"I am sorry. I understand now why you were angry."

"It's okay buddy. Don't think I'm not grateful cuz I am, just...don't do anything like this again or I'll do some torturing of my own." Jabbed Dean.

"I said I'm sorry. But I don't regret doing it and if I could go back I would choose the same path, even if it meant you never spoke to me again."

"Well, moot point." Said Dean dismissively "You found him. Now he's gonna die." His tone full of satisfaction.

"But what if..."

"Shushh."

"No Dean if..."

"Cas, it'll be fine. If not, well you'll be okay. Sam coped just fine without me, and you will too, heck, you'll probably be better off. Yeah it might suck for a while but you'll do okay. Ha, I bet you'll think back and wish you'd never met me, all the crap you've been through for us...for me."

Cas kept his eyes firmly trained on the hunter.

"I already do wish I'd never met you." He said deadpan.

Dean was taken aback for a long minute, gawking at the angel's blank expression before the shoe dropped.

"Oh, hardy ha. Real cute."

Cas's lips quirked in a sideways smile.

"It's not all bad. You told me that once, about all the good things the earth has to offer, remember?" Dean thought back to the night Zachariah had trapped him in that room and he'd had to convince Cas to help him.

He nodded.

"Well you were right. Yes I've had a lot of 'crap,' a lot, and more is probably on it's way, but that's just the way things are. You put up with the bad so you can appreciate the good."

"Huh. So you do listen to me. You hid that well."

Cas gazed at Dean for a moment then leaned over, a hand on Dean's chest propping him up, and planted a light kiss on the hunter's lips.

It was a soft kiss lasting only a few seconds but, paired with the intensity of the last half hour, it made Dean realise just how much he cared for this odd being.

Okay, this is no biggie, thought Dean as he scrutinized the angel taking in every inch of the pale skin and it's stark contrast to his dark hair. The sparkle in the too blue eyes and the way he was sitting, slightly hunched. He loved the way he tilted his head when he was confused and his constant misunderstanding of pop culture and slang language never ceased to amuse Dean.

So. He liked a guy. Holy hell.

Cas noticed the silent battle going in Dean's head.

"What's wrong, are you in a lot of pain?"

Dean shook himself mentally and gazed at Cas, a small smile on his lips.

"No, well no more than usual. Just...thinking."

"About?"

Dean reached up a hand and laid it on Castiel's jaw, running his thumb along his cheek bone.

Cas peered down at Dean and a knowing smile spread across his features.

"Oh." Was all he said.


	4. Chapter 4: Chocolate

**Chapter 4: Chocolate**

Sam returned about an hour later finding Dean asleep and Cas sitting on Sam's bed just watching him contently.

"You two sort things out then?" Sam asked.

"Yes."

"Good, and thanks Cas it was a big risk you took, I'm glad it paid off."

Dean stirred and opened his eyes then stretched delicately. "Heya Sammy."

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Peachy."

Sam rolled his eyes and resumed his usual seat at the table. "We need a plan, and fast."

The two hunters and the angel sat around discussing tactics for a good while before formulating and finalising their plan. It wasn't a great one but with the Winchcester's 'great' plans were hard to come by, thought Cas.

By the next day everything was ready and they'd been over and over the details so many times Sam was sure they would be etched into his brain forever.

"So." Sam drew in a deep breath and let it out again slowly. "We all set?"

Cas nodded and headed over to help Dean from his bed. As he bent and started to lift Dean, a choked gasp rose in his throat making Cas pause.

"I'm fine." Mumbled Dean.

Sam stood by the door, bag over his shoulder, and took in Dean's appearance. He thought back the Le Grange situation again, how pale and fragile Dean had been after he'd electrocuted himself, the dark circles under his eyes and his constant grimace.

He'd looked like the very picture of health compared to how he was now. His skin was sallow and his clothes sodden with sweat. Cas was supporting most of Dean's weight and was virtually dragging him across the room as his head started to loll.

"Come on Dean, hang in there." Sam pleaded a lump in his throat.

He went out and opened the door of the Car and helped Cas arrange Dean awkwardly in the back seat. He straightened up and glanced at Cas.

"I'll sit with him." The angel said and clambered in, shutting the door.

They sat in silence on the long drive, Dean's shallow, rattling breaths and the drone of the engine the only sounds throughout the arduous journey.

Cas sat with Dean's head on his lap and didn't once look up from his watch on him, softly running his fingers though his hair in comfort.

Sam noticed this in the rear-view mirror but kept quiet. It wasn't like it was a complete surprise, the way Dean had been acting whenever Cas was around, the flushed cheeks at Sam's mocking smile, not to mention Castiel sat staring at his brother sleeping and Dean not seeming to mind when he'd woken up all traces of his previous anger no where to be seen. He just relaxed when Cas was around.

Sam smiled to himself. It wasn't how he'd everimagined Dean being happy. _Ever. _But he was glad and, assuming they all lived through this, he was looking forward to Dean squirming in his seat trying to explain it to him.

Cas eventually looked up as they neared to building.

"I'll take a look."

"Be careful..." Sam began but Cas was already gone.

He pulled the Impala up at the end of the gravel driveway, as near to the huge ornate double doors as he could manage and stepped hurriedly out, proceeding around to carefully drag Dean's barely conscious bulk out of the back door.

Cas reappeared from scouting the area.

"How's it lookin'?" said Sam, eyes big and eyebrows arching skyward.

"It's quiet." Castiel said.

Sam knew Cas didn't mean 'Nice day for a picnic quiet.' More 'There's a crap load of demons sat inside and they know we're coming' quiet.

"Right." Sam adjusted his hold around Dean and ambled towards the entrance which offered a square of shade from the warm sun.

Sam thought the place was rather ostentatious, large granite pillars holding up the archway, immaculate gravel and manicured lawns sporting an idyllic looking water feature. He was half glad the place was chock full of things wanting to kill him. On any other occasion he'd feel very out of place here.

Sam placed a steady hand on the dark, polished swirls engraved on the door and, nodding to Cas, pushed them slowly open.

The foyer was just as plush as the exterior. A grand centre staircase opposing the double doors was paralleled by smooth twirling banisters sweeping down either side. Elegant paintings spaced at even intervals along the walls with bronzed plaques detailing long past occupants.

The syrupy light was streaming through the windows, dust hovering, casting obscure shadows deep in the corners of the room and bouncing lazily of the neatly tiled floor, giving the expanse a pleasing sepia like haze which did nothing to offset the dread in Sam's gut.

A few steps in and the inevitable slam of the door came from behind.

A moment later a single set of footsteps, and the accompanying demon came into view at the top of the stairs.

Dark suit and hair scraped back with gel. Shoes immaculately polished and hands clasped in front of him.

"Please, make your way up." The demon looked steadily at the three of them like stains on his new Persian rug, smiling with contempt.

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Sam shifted on his heels and again altered Dean's leaning position as he got limper still.

"Okay. Well you know where the door is. Goodbye." The demon began to turn away, heading back down the hallway.

"Alright!"

"Ah, how unexpected. Follow me." Sam wanted to knife him right then and there, for the sheer pleasure if it.

"Oh, and FYI, no angel zapping while you're in here blue eyes." He smirked, watching as they clambered upwards, rocking on the balls of his feet.

After eons of traipsing down endless corridors, during which Castiel had joined Sam in carrying a now unconscious Dean, they came to a stop as their escort rapped on a plain looking door on the left, and entered after a slight pause.

Whatever it was Sam and Cas had expected to see upon sighting Asmodeus, this was not it. Not even close.

A man was seated in a vast bean bag reading a book with a sale sticker on the cover, half eaten Kit-Kat bar resting on his knee. Said knee was clad in terracotta linen pants paired with a blue, pin-stripped shirt and flip flops. His hair was maybe 2 inches shorter than Sam's and a rusty copper colour and swept lazily to the side, small wisps falling onto his stubbled face. Green eyes shining as he continued reading his book.

"You're here! Wonderful." His sing songy voice flitted through the air with a certain broken gracefulness.

All Sam could do for a moment was stare, wide-eyed.

"Asmodeus?" Sam's voice trill.

"The one and only, nicetameetya." The words blurring into one another as looked up from his book, bending the top corner of the page he'd been reading, and placed it on the carpet along with his chocolate. "Please, sit." He gestured to a line of bean bags to his left, at a right angle to his own seat. "I insist." He said pointedly when Sam and Cas hesitated.

They shuffled over and, after laying Dean down on the two bags furthest from Asmodeus, stiffly sat in the remaining two.

"So, what can I doforyer Sammy?"

"You know damn well why I'm here." Sam said, jaw clenched as he sat looking at the dick who was making small talk as Dean lay dying.

"Yesss." Drawing out the word as he leaned back and stretched his hands up to rest on the top of his head. "Well, he 'ad it comin' being bosom buddies with an angel." Replied Asmodeus matter of factly, giving Castiel a cursory once over and returning his eyes to Sam.

"What right does that give you to go and slice him open? He never did anything to you. Where d'you get off killing someone who's never even heard of you." Sam enquired, knuckles tight.

"Surly ya did _some _research before ya came bustin' in here?"

"Yeah, I know all about your crap with Raphael and how you swore revenge on the servants of heaven, but _why? _Why not just go straight to the source?"

"Isn't it obvious? I wanna make him to suffer before I kill him. What better way than to kill all his little friends?" Asmodeus's expression turned into a cold mask of vengeful lust, all pretences dropped for that split second, accent disappearing.

"You think wiping Dean off the map is going to make one iota of difference to Raphael?! Ha, you have no clue do you?"

"Whadda you talking about?" The Demon, with a capital D, raised himself nimbly to tower over Sam. To say it was unnerving was putting it mildly. Sam began to stand and was pushed back downwards by an the all too familiar invisible force.

"I'm saying Raphael doesn't give a a rat's ass about us, including Cas." He jerked his head to the left at the angel. "In fact he'd probably give youa medal to just lock us up and throw away the key." Sam said, lips tight.

"That right?"

"Yes. It is." Replied Cas, speaking for the first time.

Asmodeus stood unblinking as he stared at an equally unblinking Castiel.

"And why would he do that?" Said Asmodeus with a chuckle.

"Are you being serious? Where've you been for the last few years, under a rock?" Shot Sam disbelievingly.

"He doesn't get out much." Smiled the demon who'd led them in, lifting his chin, hands shoved in his pockets.

Asmodeus's eyes flicked towards him, glinting.

The demon lowered his gaze before Asmodeus returned his concentration to Sam and, once his back was turned, rolled his eyes.

So Mr. Big Bad Demon was a grouchy recluse. Who knew?

"Well, be that as it may, you're still going to die, once you've told me where I can find our little Raphy that is, or not, you won't see tomorrow either way. Might as well save yourself some pain."

"I'll tell you were he is." Cas said in response, eyes narrowing. "He's dead."

Asmodeus glared down. "Dead. By whose hand?"

"Mine."

There was a short pause before the demon burst into mock laughter. "Ha! You. You can't even stand up unless I want you to and you're saying you killed an Archangel."

"He's telling the truth." Said Sam as he endeavoured to break free.

"And how does a foot solider manage that? Pray do tell."

Cas felt the soft press of the demon's presence vanish and he stood to face him.

"To put it simply, I temporarily attained a substantial amount of power and I used it to my advantage." He was stood, shoulders squared as he awaited the reply.

"Hmmmm." Asmodeus strode over to the window while he contemplated his next move.

The angel didn't seem to be lying, the human either. Asmoudeus might not be in the loop with the rest of the demon network, he preferred to keep to himself and do as he wished without hassle, but he he was good at reading people and he truly believed that Raphael really was dead. So the question was, what now?

"Please." Said Cas still facing the demon but his eyes were now trained on Dean, whose breathes was getting quieter by the minute.

The demon turned and inspected Dean's unconscious form and the angel whose gaze was pinned to him, watching the life drain from him.

"You love him."

"Yes." Said Cas without hesitation as he refocused his attention away from Dean.

Sam stayed silent as he watched the interchange repeatedly switching his eyes to check on Dean.

"So how did you obtain this power?" Asked Asmodeus, genuinely intrigued.

"Souls. But it was not a path I would not recommend."

"Well. No. You'd have to be insane to do that." Asmodeus's eye twinkled at the slight shudder Cas gave at his recollection of the Leviathans twisting inside him. He reached to the floor and retrieved his chocolate and took a bite. "I do love these." He said to himself more than anyone.

Sam and Cas just waited as 'the pure one' chewed enthusiastically.

"Can you help him or not?" Sam croaked.

"Yes, I _can _help him, but will I?" He retorted calmly. "I suppose you could be useful."

Asmodeus sauntered to the back of the room to a small cabinet. He reached inside and drew out a large, decorative looking dagger.

Sam tensed in his seat and Cas readied his stance, awaiting the moment any move was made against himself or the brothers.

The demon who'd chaperoned them now moved to block the doorway.

Asmodeus meandered his way over to them leisurely, rotating the blade in his hands as he studied it.

"It really is a marvellous thing, all those years of wear and tear, centuries spent buried and not a single scratch or speck of rust, and the power hidden within it. You can't begin to imagine." He stopped and looked up when he was a few paces away from them and raised the knife.

Cas was preparing to launch himself at the millennia old demon when he put the knife to his own hand.

Mr. Arrogant took a step forward. "What are you doing?!"

"What does it look like?"

"You can't..."

"I'm sorry. _Your _telling _me _what I can and can't do?"

"But..."

"Oh do shut up Farrell." Asmodeus made to step forward, but Farrell was on him, trying to grab the blade.

Sam and Cas could only watch on, they didn't know who to root for.

The two demons wrestled each other for control, the dark haired demon landed a punch on his former leader's nose before Asmodeus swung around sending Farrell spinning into to cabinet with shocking force. He recovered quickly and lunged for the eccentric looking demon, as he did so, the older demon sidestepped and grabbed Farrell's head in both hands and twirled awkwardly, using Farrell's momentum against him, promptly snapping his neck. He uttered a few incoherent words under his breath.

Black smoke curled upwards and then sank quickly into the ground as though being sucked down by a vacuum.

Sam was now standing beside Cas and in front of Dean, after the fight had distracted the demon from keeping him under his influence.

Asmodeus swept the hair from his eyes as he turned and made his way over to Dean, blood trickling from his nose.

"What are you doing?" Sam demanded, balling his fists.

"I thought you wanted me to help him." He stated flatly. "Or was I mistaken?"

Sam exchanged looks with Cas then inclined his head and stepped reluctantly aside.

Asmodeus took the blade to his hand once more and sliced, letting his blood coat one side of the blade.

"Your turn." He said, facing Cas.

Castiel looked back, brows furrowed in confusion.

"You've traded blood with him before, yes? Otherwise he's be dead already."

"I have..."

"Well, I hate to inform you," He said, lips curling in menace. "That you're his only hope. You see, he needs the blood of the one who cursed him, me, and the blood of one who the knife was created for, you. An angel."

"Alright." Cas said holding out his hand.

"One more thing. How much do you like those powers of yours?" The demon said, grinning.

"What do you mean?" Sam urged, looking back and forth between the angel and the demon.

"Well, angel's gotta sacrifice something if he wants lover boy here up and fucking."

"Sacrifice what, how?" Barked Sam.

"Well, no more super powers."

"Do it." Cas ordered, his gaze fixed, jaw locked.

"Cas..."

"It's fine Sam. I don't want my powers if it means Dean has to die."

"Okay, but you know Dean's going to be pissed."

"I don't care. I'll go and never come back if that's what he wants, but I'm not letting him die." His eyes glided over to meet Sam's hazel ones, showing him just how broken he was at the thought of life without Dean. Determination seeping out of every pore of his vessel.

"Do it." Cas reiterated.

The blade ran smoothly across his extended palm, blood spilled out and coated the blades other side.

Asmodeus bent to examine Dean, lifting his top to reveal the wound, and plunged the knife back into it.

Sam and Cas both shouted in protest but were once again frozen in place, unable to move.

"Castiel, come and put your cut on the wound, and don't try to kill me, this is a necessity."

Cas again felt the weight lifted from him and he came to stoop over Dean. He drew in a breath and placed his hand over the deep gash as the dagger was removed.

Sam stood in awe as the room filled with a blue, white light as it had back at the motel.

Cas let out a groan and fell to his knees, his whole body rigid.

Sam had to close his eyes as the light brightened severely.

It was all over in a moment. Sam opened his eyes to see Cas slummed limply next to Dean, staring at the floor and breathing deeply.

Asmodeus had stepped back during all this and was smiling coyly.

Dean stirred and blinked awake. Cas twisted around to look at him and Sam came to crouch on his other side, checking the now sealed, faded pink wound.

Dean peered up at the strangely dressed man in front of him.

"I'll be seein' ya." Asmodeus taunted and vanished.

* * *

Dean felt better than he had in years. Physically. Mentally he was shot.

Every time he thought of Cas, the tide of conflicting emotions that hit him was too much.

He wanted him to be close, to see him, talk to him.

He wanted to apologise and hold him.

He wanted to go and buy that god damn frying pan.

How could Cas have done this? He'd basically made himself human. He was powerless and would age and had to eat and pee like everyone else, although, he did seem to heal a little faster than the average human and could go longer without sleep.

It was all his fault yet again.

He reached to his glass of whisky and gulped it down in one.

He was missing Cas but he couldn't bear to look him in the eye right now. Weather it was because of guilt or anger he wasn't sure, he just knew he couldn't.

There was a knock at the door.

"Go away."

"No Dean. I've been out here 20 minutes and I'll stay here as long as it takes. I need to talk to you." Came Cas's muffled voice.

"Fuck." Dean huffed as he got up and dawdled to the door, finally opening it with unnecessary force.

Cas shoved past him before speaking to ensure he wouldn't be given a nose bleed by having a door slammed into his face.

"Dean..."

Dean rounded on Cas, pinning him to the wall. Cas did nothing to try and free himself.

"What Cas? What can you possibly say to make this better? You knew I didn't want you to sacrifice yourself for me, we had a whole conversation about it remember."

"I didn't sacrifice myself, just my powers." Cas said, shifting under Dean's tight grip.

"Don't act dumb, you know damn well what I mean. I didn't want you doing that for me."

"And what about what I want Dean!" Shouted Cas, losing his composure and shoving Dean off him. "I want you alive. I don't need powers to live...I need you."

"Cas..."

Castiel stepped forward and succeeded in silencing Dean by pressing a finger lightly to his lips and pushing him against the room partition. He leaned in and replaced his finger with his lips, moving slowly and deliberately, the mouth being the only point of contact.

Dean shuddered. He pulled away, surprised by his violent reaction to such a small kiss.

They locked eyes, blue sky meeting with green grass. Cas moved back in, a little more passionately this time. Dean gripped Cas's hips and yanked him closer compressing their bodies together and causing Cas to reach out his hands on either side of Dean to steady himself on the wooden partition.

Smoothing one hand on the small of Castiel's back, Dean pulled back once more and set about making a trail of kisses down Cas's neck as he leaned back to expose his throat, and grazed his teeth along the sensitive spot at the base. Cas moaned deeply and pressed himself into Dean even harder.

Dean's could feel his jeans getting tight and the urge to grind against Cas's bulge was overwhelming.

He returned to kissing, though it was a lot more urgent and needy, a rough groan escaping him as Cas crushed their hips together, over and over again. He reached up, finding the almost black locks and he twisted his fingers through it, digging his fingertips into Cas's scalp.

Dean bit gently on the other man's bottom lip and sucked it into his own mouth, pulling, teasing.

"Dean." Castiel rasped breathlessly.

In reply Dean spun, reversing their positions and pressed a knee inbetween Cas's legs to nudge him. Dean's shirt was in bunches as Cas held on as if it was a lifeline, his head in the crook of Dean's neck as he tried to maintain some control over his body. He jerked as their crotches brushed tightly against each others again making an almost sobbing noise.

They were both panting heavily and Dean's whole body vibrated with the growl that slipped from his mouth as Cas's hips jutted against his, he was so close. Castiel snapped his head back into the wood as he climaxed, back arched, letting out a sound that Dean was never going to forget and that made him come like he never had before, biting down at the bottom of Cas's neck near the collar bone, inciting a final loud sigh and shiver from him.

They stood locked together for a while trying to catch their breath.

Dean straightened slightly to look at a debauched and flushed Cas and smoothed a fly away hair from his sweaty brow, a smile making the corners of his eyes crinkle.

Cas smiled back, running a hand absently over the shiny scar on Dean's side and kissed him softly, feeling the smile still planted there. They stood a while longer as their heart rates returned to a normal rhythm.

"Well." Dean cleared his throat as he untangled him self, realisation sinking in.

"I'll take that as a sign of forgiveness?" Said Cas with an arched eyebrow.

"Take it however you like." Dean answered after a moment.

Cas looked down at the ground, shoulders hunched and sighed.

"Look, I know I'm being a dick I just, it's hard."

"I know Dean, if it were the other way round I would be conflicted too, but please understand, I'm fine. I'm happy, I...Love you." Cas said raising his head.

Dean froze, his jaw dropping a little. "You _love _me?" He said astounded.

Cas looked away. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that so bluntly, I'll go and you can phone me when you feel ready."

"You love me." Dean mumbled to himself.

Cas opened the door only to be stopped by a hand around his wrist. Dean pulled the ex-angel to him and rested their foreheads together.

"Then I guess, I love you too."

* * *

It had been around 3 months and Cas was adapting to human life well, although it seemed he'd never get to grips with the relaxed ebb and flow of 'normal' conversation, as his run in with a exceedingly pompous school teacher pointed out. Dean didn't think he'd ever forget the look on Castiel's face as she stormed away, a picture of sheer innocence and confusion.

Sam and Dean were sitting in another motel room as it had been a quiet week, Sam reclined in the too soft couch cushions, Dean in his usual spot on the end of his bed.

Cas walked in and dropped his key on the side. "I got a cheeseburger for you," He said throwing the parcel to Dean. "and a salad shake? For you." Cas handed to plastic tub to Sam with a look of baffled pride.

"See, he can shop and everything." Said Dean boastfully as Cas sat next to him. "He even knows to get you that disgusting crap you call food." Dean laughed and patted Cas's thigh with a grin. He was getting good a being human, thought Dean, looking at him fondly.

Sam shook his head in amusement as he opened his salad. He'd always known.

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

* * *

**Disclaimer: All characters (Excluding Asmodeus/Farrell) belong to the mind of Mr. Eric Kripke and the writers of Supernatural. **

**This is for entertainment only/ Fair usage. **

**Authors note: If you're wondering about the name Asmodeus, I used it because I did some research on demons online when trying to pick a name and found that he was a demon who supposedly had ties to Raphael, and that's were my overall storyline also grew from. **

**Hope you enjoyed! :D **


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